THE HYMEN: THE MYTH

'Losing virginity' is one of the biggest misconceptions surrounding women. This term is used to describe vaginal penetration with a penis. It is rife with the perception that it’s going to hurt. For some women that is going to be the case, even if they spend a long time on foreplay and use lube to ease the process. 

But in most cases pain can be avoided. There may be discomfort due to the vaginal walls stretching out further than ever before, but it should never be to the point where she is in tears or is experiencing a great deal of pain. If it is, more often than not, something is wrong. 

There are lots of people out there who believe that sex is supposed to be painful for the woman on her first time as this is when her hymen is being 'broken' as such. WRONG! It’s uncommon for this to be the case.

The hymen is a piece of tissue that surrounds the external vaginal opening. IT'S NOT INSIDE THE VAGINA! You can actually see it when looking at the vulva. The opening can be of any size or shape and the tissue may be thick or thin. So this silly notion that a man 'takes' a woman's virginity by 'breaking her seal' is nothing but misogynistic crap created to make a man feel dominant.

Having sex for the first time can be unnerving at any age, but it is important not to make a woman feel that something is being taken from her that she can't get back. Particularly if it is a situation where the woman was perhaps peer pressured into experiencing sex for the first time. Words like 'popping the cherry' and 'deflowering' should be avoided. 

Think of your hymen as an appendix, it's there and you have it for life but you never use it!