Monday 25 February 2013

BREAST TALK: ASYMMETRY IS COMMON



The problem with growing up is that you have an idea in your mind of how you're going to look as a woman. As there's not a lot of information given to you about the female form besides periods and the birds and the bees, I assumed that getting past puberty would get rid of the awkward buds attached to my chest that seemed to go through different stages of growth.

Some women grow up to have symmetrical breasts, although it is rare for them to be perfectly even. However it is accepted that slight asymmetry is the norm. This anatomical nuance is of little concern to most women but there are some of us who notice a large size difference and it impacts greatly on body image. It can seriously affect some women's self esteem.

The term ‘Asymmetric Breasts’ usually refers to breasts that differ in size by at least one cup size, which may become noticeable during puberty as the breast tissue starts to develop. Subsequently, as the years progress, the asymmetry may become more obvious to the point where it is unflattering and even embarrassing for a woman. 

Asymmetric breasts can be corrected with surgery but it is important to realise that although one may be bigger than the other, there is nothing wrong with you. Almost 99% of women have asymmetrical breasts and in 40% of those cases, there is a cup size or more in difference. Breasts and nipples come in all shapes and sizes and I have included several pictures of breasts that are perfectly normal:











Share your thoughts in the comments section and if you need to talk to someone about breast asymmetry, there is a great helpline called Get Connected and you can contact them by emailing: help@getconnected.org.uk

BREAKING VS. STRETCHING: THE VIOLENT LANGUAGE ABOUT VIRGINITY


In the previous post I talked about the falsehood of a hymen covering the whole vagina. As teens in this country, sex education is lacking AT BEST. And even then, there isn't a lot of emphasis on the hymen. It's kind of just said that it'll be broken when you have sex and that's when you know you're 'not a virgin'. 
It's so silly and not only is it WRONG, it's violent aswell. It gives the impression that the man is going to be like, "Here I am with my huge penis, I'm about to break into your vagina and take away your flower!" - No wonder women can be anxious about the first time! The myths about sex are straight up scary! 

My dad, for instance, used to take any opportunity he could to point the finger and say, "Don't have sex! You'll get pregnant and your life will be ruined!" The fear he instilled with me stayed for ages until I began my rebellious phase and decided a ruined life would be worth it if I could irritate him. 
And several years later, we've both gotten over our immaturity. 

Sex should not be about taking things from people, it shouldn't mean that a man gets a trophy or gold stars for 'taking' something valuable from the woman while she's left viewed by society as some promiscuous tramp. It's such a double standard and where does it stop? After the man gets a high five from his friends and the woman is left with rumours about her sex life to deal with?
Granted, this is coming off a tad sexist. But it is true, just talking to male friends of mine shows this attitude. 




Hopefully in the future, people can be more willing to know that nothing should be stolen or taken during sex between two people, it's an act of physical passion and should be enjoyed by both parties. There shouldn't be any pain involved in first time sex (unless you're into that, which I can't imagine you would be during your first experience). 

The best thing you can do during first time sex is to just have fun with it and not take yourselves too seriously, it's unproductive to think that it's going to work out like the way porn is portrayed. People who have sex for the first time are inexperienced and are in no way porn stars, so it's unfair to expect your partner to perform to a certain degree. 
Sex is messy and funny and laughing makes the experience all the better. 




THE HYMEN: THE MYTH



'Losing virginity' is one of the biggest misconceptions surrounding women. This term is used to describe vaginal penetration with a penis. It is rife with the perception that it’s going to hurt. For some women that is going to be the case, even if they spend a long time on foreplay and use lube to ease the process. 
But in most cases pain can be avoided. There may be discomfort due to the vaginal walls stretching out further than ever before, but it should never be to the point where she is in tears or is experiencing a great deal of pain. If it is, more often than not, something is wrong. 

There are lots of people out there who believe that sex is supposed to be painful for the woman on her first time as this is when her hymen is being 'broken' as such. WRONG! It’s uncommon for this to be the case.
The hymen is a piece of tissue that surrounds the external vaginal opening. IT'S NOT INSIDE THE VAGINA! You can actually see it when looking at the vulva. The opening can be of any size or shape and the tissue may be thick or thin. So this silly notion that a man 'takes' a woman's virginity by 'breaking her seal' is nothing but misogynistic crap created to make a man feel dominant.

Having sex for the first time can be unnerving at any age, but it is important not to make a woman feel that something is being taken from her that she can't get back. Particularly if it is a situation where the woman was perhaps peer pressured into experiencing sex for the first time. Words like 'popping the cherry' and 'deflowering' should be avoided. 
Think of your hymen as an appendix, it's there and you have it for life but you never use it!