Monday, 25 February 2013

BREAKING VS. STRETCHING: THE VIOLENT LANGUAGE ABOUT VIRGINITY


In the previous post I talked about the falsehood of a hymen covering the whole vagina. As teens in this country, sex education is lacking AT BEST. And even then, there isn't a lot of emphasis on the hymen. It's kind of just said that it'll be broken when you have sex and that's when you know you're 'not a virgin'. 
It's so silly and not only is it WRONG, it's violent aswell. It gives the impression that the man is going to be like, "Here I am with my huge penis, I'm about to break into your vagina and take away your flower!" - No wonder women can be anxious about the first time! The myths about sex are straight up scary! 

My dad, for instance, used to take any opportunity he could to point the finger and say, "Don't have sex! You'll get pregnant and your life will be ruined!" The fear he instilled with me stayed for ages until I began my rebellious phase and decided a ruined life would be worth it if I could irritate him. 
And several years later, we've both gotten over our immaturity. 

Sex should not be about taking things from people, it shouldn't mean that a man gets a trophy or gold stars for 'taking' something valuable from the woman while she's left viewed by society as some promiscuous tramp. It's such a double standard and where does it stop? After the man gets a high five from his friends and the woman is left with rumours about her sex life to deal with?
Granted, this is coming off a tad sexist. But it is true, just talking to male friends of mine shows this attitude. 




Hopefully in the future, people can be more willing to know that nothing should be stolen or taken during sex between two people, it's an act of physical passion and should be enjoyed by both parties. There shouldn't be any pain involved in first time sex (unless you're into that, which I can't imagine you would be during your first experience). 

The best thing you can do during first time sex is to just have fun with it and not take yourselves too seriously, it's unproductive to think that it's going to work out like the way porn is portrayed. People who have sex for the first time are inexperienced and are in no way porn stars, so it's unfair to expect your partner to perform to a certain degree. 
Sex is messy and funny and laughing makes the experience all the better. 




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